PETA forced to mediate Hamas and Al Qaeda in Gaza, budget strained

Spokesman Bill Soyer of PETA acknowledged today that the leaks about PETA entering the frustrating fray of mideast peace negotiations is true. Budgets are being resorted to allow for the costs of necessary contacts and travel, and local soy cheese plates for direct negotiations between Hamas and Al Qaeda.

Enough money was also set aside to pay for the humane flycatcher that is scheduled to be sent to President Obama who recently displayed his Olympic speed response to a pesky fly. Hundreds of CEOs flinched and called their financial planners.

Those two groups in the mideast are at odds over how aggressive to be against the Israelis, with Al Qaeda accusing Hamas of not being creative nor nearly aggressive enough.

Emotions boiled over in a recent unofficial board meeting at PETA headquarters, resulting in the decision to find a way to bridge the differences between these two enemies of Israel, hoping it would result in the cessation of Al Qaeda using horses as suicide bombers at the Israeli border with  Gaza.