Catholic Arthritis

A drunk man who smelled like gin sat
Down on a subway seat next to a priest.

The man’s tie was stained, his face was
Plastered with red lipstick, and a half
Empty bottle of gin was sticking out of
His torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began
Reading. After a few minutes the man
Turned to the priest and asked,

‘Say, Father, what causes arthritis?’

‘My son, it’s caused by loose living,
Being with cheap, wicked women, too
Much alcohol and a contempt for your
Fellow man, sleeping around with
Prostitutes and lack of a bath.’

‘Well, I’ll be damned,’ the drunk
Muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he
Had said, nudged the man and apologized.

‘I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong.
How long have you had arthritis?’

‘I don’t have it, Father. I was just
Reading here that the Pope does.’