Georgia is Peachy!
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And the Gold Medal for sheer, unmitigated audacity goes to ….
Russia!
Sometimes you just have to stand back in awe. I’m an editorialist, I’m supposed to have opinions and those opinions are supposed to be informed by my ideas of justice, by my “moral center.”
I yield to no man when it comes to self-righteousness. I think I have the right to judge the world, or else I’d do something else for a living.
But Russia’s invasion of Georgia? All I can do is gasp and applaud.
Where is the outrage, you ask? My outrage is out of order. It blew a fuse.
If there was anyone in Russia named Ruth before this week, they’re dead now. Russia is officially Ruthless. If Babe Ruth was in Russia’s Hall of Fame they’d have to take down his plaque.
While the whole world, including yours truly, got head-faked during the Olympic opening ceremonies by a cute Chinese girl lip-synching a sappy song actually sung by a marginally less cute Chinese girl, the real sap was sitting a few seats away from Vlad “The Impaler” Putin.
Yes, America, George W. Bush, the man who famously looked into Putin’s eyes and saw his soul, sat there watching the Parade of Nations, gathered in peace on the Bird’s Nest floor, a smile on his face, while Russia’s tanks rolled. Putin was smiling too, and who can blame him? He’d just launched the best-timed invasion since the Yom Kippur War.
But I’m not blaming this one on Bush. Blitzkrieg always takes its victims’ leaders by surprise, even Roosevelt,
even Churchill. And it’s hard to see a man’s eyes when he’s mounting you from behind. You could almost hear Putin’s voice above the crowd noise saying “squeal like a pig, comrade.”
No, what happened to Georgia is not our fault. It’s all Russia. Forget the spin you’ve heard about the stupidity of Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvilli and his inept handling of the crisis in South Ossetia. Ignore the “blame the neo-cons” crowd and the “America is soft” bunch. Anyone who tries to tie this into McCain vs. Obama is a lying hypocrite. If anything, Russia did both candidates a favor by making this mess before Jan 20, 2009.
No, this was all Russia. Russia did this. Because Russia could. They got tired of losing, Kosovo was a stick in their eye, NATO expansion gave them gas, missile defense ruffled their fur, they wanted a win and they got one.
Some commentators are writing that the invasion of Georgia was Russia’s way of saying The Bear is Back. But that’s not right because The Bear never went away. What Russia was reminding us was that The Bear has Claws.
And boy, do they know how to use them! A total disregard for world opinion for the few days necessary to spank the Georgians, then a sudden reasonableness when a scared-spitless world Sarkosied to their door, begging for mercy. Then a “truce” that leaves Georgia with a couple of testicle-sized chunks missing from its territory.
And, best of all, no expensive clean-up like America got stuck with in Iraq. It’s pure genius, “We broke it, you bought it.” Russia says,” and you’ll buy it again if you piss us off.”
Meanwhile American C-17s are winging into Tblisi with humanitarian supplies and American hospital ship USNS Comfort is building steam, ready to go. How can you not admire that stunning bit of leverage? Russia writes the check and America cashes it!
I don’t know how this is going to play out and no one else does either. But we all owe a debt of thanks to the Russians. Suddenly, Iraq is old news. Now they get to play the bad guy on the world stage for a while.
So, during this week of peace, brotherhood and naked aggression, what have we learned, children, if nothing else?
That’s right, class. When push comes to shove, he who shoves the hardest wins.
Comment by Management on 14 August 2008:
Snark: Thanks to this Al Jaseera film we see no effective remaining internal resistance, none from elsewhere and we know no one in Georgia thinks the land grab is over.
Comment by Serr8d on 14 August 2008:
Heh.
Serr8ds last blog post..Today’s obligatory Olympics Post: Georgia’s on my mind.
Comment by Shane on 14 August 2008:
Wow! That’s a funny post. I don’t know where you get your news, but I’d like to have some of what they’re on. OK, maybe the Russians baited him, but Saakashvilli is the one that attacked South Ossetia. Yes, I know that it is within Georgia’s borders, but it would be a little like the Spanish deciding to invade the Basque country to try to rid them of their nationalist leanings. Except 98% of South Ossetians recently voted to become part of Russia, whereas the Basque want their own country. Guess it’s a bit more like the Turks killing Kurds, which is alright because they don’t have anyone to protect them. Yes, I know the Russians might have overreacted, but what do you think the US would do if a foreign nation started killing their peacekeepers? Sorry, maybe that’s a bit of an oxymoron, US-peacekeeper. I won’t argue that Russia wanted this to happen, but the blame lies with Saakashvilli here my friend.
http://theendisalwaysnear.blogspot.com/
Shanes last blog post..Peaceful Resolutions?
Comment by Ivan Risidin on 14 August 2008:
More like ethnic Germans in Poland and Sudetenland.
There was no US reporting of the air strikes and villages intimidation by the so called Russian peace keepers. Few other than Xenophobic Russians are in favor of this operation.
Deutches Beobachter painted quite a picture too, and like this cutely written response—as a drunk, leans on the lamp post more for support, less for illumination.
IVAN