Today I am Fat

If I reduce my eating, today, it will take a long time for me to lose weight.

So can you please pick me up, today, and take me to the Dairy Queen for a large Blizzard?

I have no savings and I can’t afford gas, today, so what can I do but eat ice cream, today?

Damm that Bush, he wants to drill for more oil. Today. I only want green energy and I want it today!